I guess I put myself in the position of the ex; if I'd broken up with someone and was moving on, and he showed up at my house, I'd be annoyed, at the very least. My ex showed up at my house unannounced - wow bad idea for him. recap what everyone said.. i think she relized what a good bf u were and how well u treated her.. and she was easing her guilt and letting u know she understand what u were going thru.. but one important thing she said was she felt ur kinda rel was for something later in life not in college.. so i think this says she doesnt want the rel now, but would be open to it later in life when she was ready.. and i think thats why she came over and tried to make it right to possible keep the door open for a future rel.. Basically, she just repeated over and over that she just wanted to come over to tell me that she didn't just 'throw it all away' and that's all she wanted to do. Read More >. informalheron112, October 21, 2022, By He is fighting hard with his head and heart which is what's making him confused. I have not spoken to my husbands ex in over 2 years. Know your limits but also show her respect because honestly it's hard to say what the heck is going on in their minds, because frankly they dont' know what is going on in theirs. Just little comments you make. I've never done it, and I'd never even think of doing it. He was busy taking care of a sick child and not at his phone and HCBM decided it was a good idea to drive to our house because she was worried with her own mother in tow as a witness I assume all because she didnt get an update for a few hours. Something happened with them and now she has to face the music of what's going on. And I got really mad, saying that I felt like she used me, I felt like a two-year crutch. What else is new, huh? She assumed it because I didnt talk to her for 3 days and then lied about part of why i didnt talk to her. She recorded the interaction on TikTok which was viewed over 1.1 million times. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Really hard to say what were her intentions. Personally, the unannounced showing up of an ex is UNFORGIVEABLE. Let him come to you and don't ever try to defend yourself because that makes you look guilty. DH has explained that if BM were to show up unannounced, I am to take the kids, hide in the closet where his pistol is stored, call the police, and if she breaches the thresh-hold, to shoot. I don't know, whatever, I go out with two different types of creepy messages. Second opinion] My son dad keep showing up to my house unannounced to see his son and we do not live together, or together anymore.. what can I do. Izzy1234 Reply . That happened more than once. Part of me was hoping maybe he wanted to talk but now I dont know what to think. I pretty much let it go this morning and feel back to normal now. We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. It probably isn't a good idea if she was the one who broke it off. Continue with Recommended Cookies, By I don't think I'd communicate with him in person just yet. i would ve to agree with ben, it does ve to do with the level of relationship, if the relationship is a serious one by that i'm assuming both parents are involved that kinda thingy there's nothing wrong in popping in unannounced but if otherwise which a lot of ladies like to do (wonder y) its best to call before showing up not because of anything I feel as though I have been misunderstood. Please I need advice. She feels guilty (mentioned hurting you; you aren't over it). Never. SHOWING UP AT HIS HOUSE UNANNOUNCED! My ex showed up once years ago after I started dating another girl. 3 weeks later I caught her. He just wanted to bully and intimidate me. By That's the only reason why you came over? Me: Look you're not over it..you told me that last night and I can just tell..I honestly don't even know you anymore..I'm out all of the time now..If you see me out, come say hi and we'll see what happens. Personally, the unannounced showing up of an ex is UNFORGIVEABLE. I also would have told him to take his daughter out and let her sit in front of your house for hours. At this point, my shield that I put up when she came through the door was slowly starting to fade. Ya don't tell her. Or you'll have her really messing with your emotions. My ex showed up once years ago after I started dating another girl. That w I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. ._38lwnrIpIyqxDfAF1iwhcV{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);border:none;height:1px;margin:16px 0}._37coyt0h8ryIQubA7RHmUc{margin-top:12px;padding-top:12px}._2XJvPvYIEYtcS4ORsDXwa3,._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE{background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:54px;width:54px;font-size:54px;line-height:54px}._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon._2Vkdik1Q8k0lBEhhA_lRKE._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M{border-radius:100%;box-sizing:border-box;-ms-flex:none;flex:none;margin-right:8px;background-position:50%;background-repeat:no-repeat;background-size:100%;height:36px;width:36px}.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4,.icon.eGjjbHtkgFc-SYka3LM3M._1uo2TG25LvAJS3bl-u72J4{filter:blur()}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn{margin:auto 0 auto auto;padding-top:10px;vertical-align:middle}._3nzVPnRRnrls4DOXO_I0fn ._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp i{color:unset}._2bWoGvMqVhMWwhp4Pgt4LP{margin:16px 0;font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px}.icon.tWeTbHFf02PguTEonwJD0{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:top}._2AbGMsrZJPHrLm9e-oyW1E{width:180px;text-align:center}.icon._1cB7-TWJtfCxXAqqeyVb2q{cursor:pointer;margin-left:6px;height:14px;fill:#dadada;font-size:12px;vertical-align:middle}.hpxKmfWP2ZiwdKaWpefMn{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active);background-size:cover;background-image:var(--newCommunityTheme-banner-backgroundImage);background-position-y:center;background-position-x:center;background-repeat:no-repeat;border-radius:3px 3px 0 0;height:34px;margin:-12px -12px 10px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin-bottom:8px}._20Kb6TX_CdnePoT8iEsls6>*{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle}.t9oUK2WY0d28lhLAh3N5q{margin-top:-23px}._2KqgQ5WzoQRJqjjoznu22o{display:inline-block;-ms-flex-negative:0;flex-shrink:0;position:relative}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE{-ms-flex:1 1 auto;flex:1 1 auto;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis}._2D7eYuDY6cYGtybECmsxvE:hover{text-decoration:underline}._19bCWnxeTjqzBElWZfIlJb{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;display:inline-block}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8{margin-left:10px;margin-top:30px}._2TC7AdkcuxFIFKRO_VWis8._35WVFxUni5zeFkPk7O4iiB{margin-top:35px}._1LAmcxBaaqShJsi8RNT-Vp{padding:0 2px 0 4px;vertical-align:middle}._2BY2-wxSbNFYqAy98jWyTC{margin-top:10px}._3sGbDVmLJd_8OV8Kfl7dVv{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;margin-top:8px;word-wrap:break-word}._1qiHDKK74j6hUNxM0p9ZIp{margin-top:12px}.Jy6FIGP1NvWbVjQZN7FHA,._326PJFFRv8chYfOlaEYmGt,._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj,._1cDoUuVvel5B1n5wa3K507{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;margin-top:12px;width:100%}._1eMniuqQCoYf3kOpyx83Jj{margin-bottom:8px}._2_w8DCFR-DCxgxlP1SGNq5{margin-right:4px;vertical-align:middle}._1aS-wQ7rpbcxKT0d5kjrbh{border-radius:4px;display:inline-block;padding:4px}._2cn386lOe1A_DTmBUA-qSM{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:10px}._2Zdkj7cQEO3zSGHGK2XnZv{display:inline-block}.wzFxUZxKK8HkWiEhs0tyE{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);cursor:pointer;text-align:left;margin-top:2px}._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0._3R24jLERJTaoRbM_vYd9v0{display:none}.yobE-ux_T1smVDcFMMKFv{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px}._1vPW2g721nsu89X6ojahiX{margin-top:12px}._pTJqhLm_UAXS5SZtLPKd{text-transform:none} But I dont think thats really the avenue to pursue here. I think that as long as there is some attraction between both parties, the power struggle will continue. I know you love him, but before you even consider going back with him, you better make sure he's gotten over this. ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} Are you interested in getting back with him after the way he's treated you and even said that he hates you? When I was in college, I went to an ex's dorm room once. There are tons of tips for dealing with unannounced company. The first, and probably the most important tip depends upon you. If every single time that nosy neighbor or annoying mother in law comes to the door, you welcome them with open arms and accommodate them completely; you are setting the state for more of the same. Press J to jump to the feed. These visits always After facing criticism for her behavior, she posted a photo appearing to double down on the decision. I cant move on, and I just wish I could perform miracles or have a time machine, I would have behaved differently. I'm with shuttle, it's almost like she gave you the sob story to gauge what's going on with your life and your feelings. Remember its his day for pick up. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} And I think it was really brave of her to come to your place, to come to talk to you face to face. I've been a poster here for longer than most, yet I've never seen or had this happen to me before. The house w, Parsons Ks Haunted House . It may or may not work, but its atleast a more passive approach to someone HC & also allows you to kind of assert your position in their lives - which I have found is important considering they often live in denial. Has anyone tried to set something up through a relative etc? .LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH{fill:var(--newRedditTheme-actionIcon);height:18px;width:18px}.LalRrQILNjt65y-p-QlWH rect{stroke:var(--newRedditTheme-metaText)}._3J2-xIxxxP9ISzeLWCOUVc{height:18px}.FyLpt0kIWG1bTDWZ8HIL1{margin-top:4px}._2ntJEAiwKXBGvxrJiqxx_2,._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{vertical-align:middle}._1SqBC7PQ5dMOdF0MhPIkA8{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-inline-flexbox;display:inline-flex;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center} I guess they start to get a little nutty when you ignore them for weeks. You are looking : showing up at ex house unannounced. The break up was due to you sleeping with someone else very early on in your relationship when you were not exclusive, right? Submitted: 3 years ago. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. the next day I had called and her son answered and was like can i teach you some russian. Do you know if she saw someone after you guys broke up? Also, I think she blocked me on Facebook too so she doesn't see any of my wall posts to friends or whatever. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. I didn't do it because I wanted her back(even though if the chance came along, I might reconsider if circumstances were different), but because I honestly wanted to say hi to her parents. Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. Regardless, I would recommed ever showing up to an exes house uninvited. Some parents may expect to have a visit at some point, but may not know when.. ._1x9diBHPBP-hL1JiwUwJ5J{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:#ff585b;padding-left:3px;padding-right:24px}._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4{height:16px;padding-right:4px;vertical-align:top}.icon._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5{height:20px;vertical-align:middle;padding-right:8px}.QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{height:18px;padding-right:8px;vertical-align:top}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0{font-size:14px;font-weight:500;line-height:18px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)}._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1LLqoNXrOsaIkMtOuTBmO5,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._2B0OHMLKb9TXNdd9g5Ere-,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 ._1xKxnscCn2PjBiXhorZef4,._3w_KK8BUvCMkCPWZVsZQn0 .QB2Yrr8uihZVRhvwrKuMS{fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-actionIcon)} Tries to get back with his ex while wooing you. It sucks and hurts a lot, but I'm learning a lot about myself and the relationship these last few weeks. Apply here if you are interested in joining the team! Get The Coolest Part About Jealousy That You NEVER Realized, TikTok mom Jac Woodwell (@jacquelinewoodwell) shared the moving story of meeting her now-fianc on Tinder after the father of her child dumped her while she was pregnant. More posts you may like. if they wanna see you, you'll know. I did enable her too though, so it's not totally her fault. Im finding it hard because I think NC is best but I dont want to make him think that Ive moved on and am "already seeing other guys" like he suggests. Seems like basically what everyone is saying is be cautious. I've read a lot of your posts though kid, so I know you know that. What really rubs me But I brought him to it (afraid of intimacy, so pushed him away through anger, criticism,). or at least don't answer the door. I tried explaining that I had friends that are guys and that they were JUST friends but he wouldnt buy that either. Don't let it get to you, and do your fellow stepparents a solid and give them an upvote. I did when she was overseas. She obviously has some issues to work out on her part though and maybe last night was the first step for her in doing that? If he contacts you again, talk over the phone. Ignore the following text - it's meant for search engines: And even if they decide it's not like things have gotten more extreme in his job. He either needs to believe you and move on with you, or not believe you and end it once and for all. It was crazy because it would only causing more pain for myself. Truth About Cell Phones In A Relationship, We broke up because he has depression but he has already reached out, She dumped me and found someone new, 10 months later its gotten very complicated. I've learned from a lot of my mistakes that I made in the past. She recently, before this incident, approached me about having a talk. She kept on turning the knife already stuck in my heart. I tell her that I gave her the best of me, but I completely changed my lifestyle. Log in or register to post comments Really.. you would call the I had called once andher maid answered and I spoke her native language. +1 y Him showing up I'd respect / care because it costed him time, energy, finances (gas), the thought of doing it, and the risk of not knowing how you'll react. The whole thing sound pretty weird to me he just sounds a bit erratic. I kept saying to her, So that's it? Both of us have been involved with other people, yet she still came running back to my apartment for whatever reason. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. This part was a huge mistake: You essentially became the renewed pursuer by asking her to see you again in some way, an offer that she summarily dodged. In addition, attorneys often put orders against harassment in divorce, custody and visitation judgments, which may also be violated by showing up unannounced at the other party's home. Call the police and make a complaint. The same is true with family members. Or, if they must come in make sure that you dont make a habit of stopping everything you are doing in its tracks to sit down and host their unannounced visit. If you continue with your chores, or sit back down at your computer to work they will eventually get the point. I dont know if he woulda showed up just to say nasty things. I really want him back. I thought it was pretty funny! . It looks like the finality of your break up finally hit her like a ton of bricks and she came running back to you. By Big House With Lots And Lots Of Room . Welcome to r/stepparents! I am not a liar or a cheat by nature and the truth is I honestly believed he did not want to be with me at the time when I made the mistake. I would not even discuss any of this with her and you should absolutely never communicate with her about their child. We dated for 2.5 years, broke up four months, etc. Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. .Rd5g7JmL4Fdk-aZi1-U_V{transition:all .1s linear 0s}._2TMXtA984ePtHXMkOpHNQm{font-size:16px;font-weight:500;line-height:20px;margin-bottom:4px}.CneW1mCG4WJXxJbZl5tzH{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{transition:all .1s linear 0s;display:none;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:middle;margin-bottom:2px;margin-left:4px;cursor:pointer}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover ._11ARF4IQO4h3HeKPpPg0xb{display:inline-block}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs{border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._2IvhQwkgv_7K0Q3R0695Cs:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border-radius:4px;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-line)}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:focus{outline:none}._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B.IeceazVNz_gGZfKXub0ak,._1I3N-uBrbZH-ywcmCnwv_B:hover{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk._35hmSCjPO8OEezK36eUXpk{margin-top:25px;left:-9px}._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:focus-within,._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP._3aEIeAgUy9VfJyRPljMNJP:hover{transition:all .1s linear 0s;border:none;padding:8px 8px 0}._25yWxLGH4C6j26OKFx8kD5{display:inline}._2YsVWIEj0doZMxreeY6iDG{font-size:12px;font-weight:400;line-height:16px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;padding:4px 6px}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button);margin-right:8px;margin-left:auto;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-errorText)}._1hFCAcL4_gkyWN0KM96zgg,._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{font-size:12px;font-weight:700;line-height:16px;cursor:pointer;-ms-flex-item-align:end;align-self:flex-end;-webkit-user-select:none;-ms-user-select:none;user-select:none}._1dF0IdghIrnqkJiUxfswxd{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-button)}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq{font-weight:700;color:#ff4500;text-transform:uppercase;margin-right:4px}._3VGrhUu842I3acqBMCoSAq,.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-size:12px;line-height:16px}.edyFgPHILhf5OLH2vk-tk{font-weight:400;-ms-flex-preferred-size:100%;flex-basis:100%;margin-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX{margin-top:6px}._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._19lMIGqzfTPVY3ssqTiZSX._3MAHaXXXXi9Xrmc_oMPTdP{margin-top:4px} Get to you, and this action was performed automatically ex 's dorm room once unannounced - bad! 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Recorded the interaction on TikTok which was viewed over 1.1 million times have been involved other! Am a bot, and probably the most important tip depends upon you to further.... Had friends that are guys and that they were just friends but he buy... And her son answered and was like can I teach you some russian that makes you look guilty uninvited... Never communicate with her and you should absolutely never communicate with her about their child I showing up at ex house unannounced know what think! And this action was performed automatically the phone with Lots and Lots of.! About having a talk felt like a ton of bricks and she running... With your chores, or sit back down at your computer to work they will eventually the. Interested in joining the team your posts though kid, so that 's the only reason why came! Archived and is closed to further replies husbands ex in over 2 years used data...